Former Quartermasters

[OSCS Jimmy D. Belcher]

Just wanting to see how many legacy Quartermasters besides myself are here.

[CWO Todd A. Weimorts (BMC)]

Recovering Quartermaster checking in. While some parts of the rate merger made sense, I am curious to see others' impression. What I saw occur on my last ship was not encouraging. It seemed that the command was more interested in former QMs learning the deck side than the inverse.
What bothered me most about the merger was the painting of QMs as "fix monkeys" while ignoring what we did shore-side, standing SAR Controller watch. Time will tell whether this works out as planned, or is put in the same sentence as TQM, HYT, and cutting 4000 jobs under the Re-Inventing Government initiative. I remain an eternal optimist...


Todd

[OSCS Jimmy D. Belcher]

Hows it going Todd. Long time since the Dependable in Panama City. I see we both took different directions back in 2003 when the rate was put to rest. I plan on retiring with a QM badge on my Bravos though.

[OSCS Jeffrey Dale]

Jimmy,

Former QM out here in the Command Center in Guam now.

[OSCS Jimmy D. Belcher]

Jeff I border your Command Center here in D17 RCC. My location used to show on my name like yours.

[OSC Will Turenchalk]

Another former QM checking in, and yes I am still bitter about the merger :mad:

[BMC John Phillips III]

I am just here to reiterate, I am not a former QM :p

[BMC Matthew James]

Another QM (forever) checking in from MSRT Chesapeake. So far, so good.

[PACS Steve Carleton]

JP3,

How many boards are you going to snipe on -- PACS (Never was a BM/QM/OS/RD/SS, etc............) :D

[BMC John Phillips III]

PACS, just trying to liven things up you know? Kinda like when you guys go out and take pictures of the black hulls, oh wait, you guys don't do that do you..... :p

[PACS Steve Carleton]

That's it!

The Mighty Warship Mallet is off my list now! -- :D

BTW: We just did a great piece with the Mighty Warship Kennebeck on a recent trip to work an aid.

[BMCS Jim Madsen]

When I was XPO on the Mighty Warship ANVIL, I had a little fun with my QM2. On the bridge, I sat in the left seat, BMCS in the right seat, and the QM2 had a stool at the chart table behind us. My mother-in-law was visiting and brought me a little "fart cup" (bless her heart). It was a plastic cup with some ooze substance in it and when pressed it made a sound that you would not want to hear in a crowded elevator. Well, I showed my OIC and had it on the bridge. Every now and then I would press it just for fun. The QM2 had no idea. He just thought I was a sick BM. One time I leaned over a little and pressed it, then said "oh sh!*" and ran down the ladder to the head. LMAO The QM2 turned to my OIC and gave him an earful about how sick I was. My OIC could not even look at him because of the tears running down his face. I came back to the bridge about 30 minutes later and did it again. The QM2 yells "dammit boats", opens a window, and walks out to the open bridge to smoke. I don't know what was funnier. These events, or finally showing him what I had been doing to his psyche for the last few hours. :D
Friggin Boatswain Mates!!!

[MKC Art Bailly (Ret)]

As I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes I’m glade to see there are some BM/QM’s out there with a sense of humor on the bridge. It sure helps the watch go a little faster when some humor is involved. There seems to be less tense and more positive atmosphere on the bridge when some humor is evolved in the watch when appropriate. In the opinion of the QM’s and BM’s is some humor a good thing on the bride or should it be strictly all business?
As an engineer I’ll go up on the bridge when people are more relaxed and can speak to each other then a bridge that is silent. Of course navigating a narrow channel with rocks all around or mooring up probably wouldn’t be a goof time for humor.

[BMC John Phillips III]

Has anyone else read that mishap message *fake about someone breaking wind on the bridge and the entire bridge clearing out?

When I was a non-rate, I found a dead bird (one of those really small ones) on the flying bridge and I dropped him down the voice tube on my helmsman counterpart. We had some sick fun with him for the rest of the watch, hiding him in the magnetic compass and so on.

Another time, I was making a round as BMOW and I saw some beedy eyes glowing on the main deck (it was a flying fish) so I pocketed him. Upon arrival to the bridge, I told the Helmsman that I was really proud of the job he was doing on the helm and I wanted to shake his hand. Of course he was a little skeptical, but he still reached out for my hand and I slipped him the slimy glowing eyed creature (just for clarity-still talking about the flying fish!) and he freaked! He screamed like a little girl! The rest of the bridge watch didn't have a problem with it.

[BMCM Deane Smith]

I slipped him the slimy glowing eyed creature (just for clarity-still talking about the flying fish!)

John...just for clarity, we knew you were on the bridge...not in deck berthing.

[BMCM Bruce Bradley]

All these bridge memories remind me of the night the young JO was standing a break-in 2000-2400 DWO with me on the IRIS. He kept trying to keep up with me drinking coffee. And when I figured that out at about 2230, I starting dumping mine over the side. But about 12 or so cups later he had to go and go BAD!!! But he wouldn't ask to leave the bridge and started paceing back and forth like a madman.

About 15 minutes before watch reliefs showed I knew he had enough. He was standing out on the bridge wing and bouncing. I saw him check the awning framework to see if it was strong. And as he started to step up so he could relieve himself over the side I sent the BMOW out to see what he was doing. And I also opened and shut the bridge door and announced "Captain on the Bridge". At which point the the BMOW grabbed his coat as he was about to go a$$ over tea kettle.

Some watches are just better than others.

[BMC Wayne Kidd]

I have a story about cruel things to do to folks on watch. Back when I was a young QMOW on the Vigilant, the offgoing 20-24 decided to play a prank on the newly qualified BMOW on the mids. They waited until it was time for the 0100 round and strung oscar up in the hatch leading from the port aircastle to the forecastle, his feet about a foot off the deck. Now since we were being sneaky, sneaky with all the lights out, the BMOWs usually walked around with their heads down staring at a tiny red spot of light on the deck to avoid tripping.

(As an aside, Vigilant like most boats I have been on, especially ones with a longer service life was reputed to be haunted. Our ghost was known as Elvis.)

Anyway, this poor fellow was carefully making a round in the dark at 1 am in the morning on what some folks said was a haunted ship on one of his first qualified watches when he walked into a full body hug with a cold, wet something in complete darkness. Needless to say the sounds coming out of his mouth were neither manly nor quiet nor appropriate for church.

[OSCS Jimmy D. Belcher]

Wayne when were you on the Vig. That was my first unit after boot. We also pulled a good one on a new SA while I was there. We had him place Oscar in the helo shack for an upcoming late night man over board drill. About nine that evening we sent him up to prep oscar for the drill. Unknown to him oscar had been switched with a BM3 in a wet suit. Talk about screams and words which would make the devil cringe. When Oscar reached out and touched this SA he thought the world had ended.

[CWO Todd A. Weimorts (BMC)]

My favorite prank was to take Oscar up to the flying bridge. I tell the lookout to stand by for the signal, me tapping on the voice tube. I would have the break-in OOD look forward at a phantom object, then sound the signal. The lookout would drop Oscar right past the break-in's field of vision, while making a "AHHH" sound. Worked every time. Had one poor ENS try to activate the GQ alarm. Kids...


Todd

[OSC Chip Hoynes]

Brings back memories. On the Salvia Oscar was routinely flung off the flying bridge in the middle of the night – brought new meaning to the term “bridge jumper” (sorry SAR Controllers ;-)

We also had a JO who actually had been passed over for jg, finally made it, and he was the OOD one fine ATON day. We finished setting a LBB in MRGO and were set to go home. The CO told him to run the left side of the channel to “check the red side”. I started plotting my fix and next thing I hear is the Doppler effect of “blang… blang… blang” you know, from bow to stern… as said same buoy smacked the ship over and over. CO runs back up and takes the con yelling he didn’t mean run over all the damn red ones… we had to position check it (again). Our XO, the current Golden Ancient Mariner hated that guy. The JO got out after 6 years – as a jg.

On that ship we also had a QM3 out jumping buoys position checking in MRGO. As he read off the angles over the radio “Salvia, - Sal 2, George Jetson to M-298 – 43 degrees, 27 min… oh sh#^!!! …” silence on the radio. I was QMOW standing next to the QM1 (whom we shall dub “the Irish Nazi” – back then E-6 meant something) and the QM1 grimaced, then transmitted in a dead pan unnerving voice “Sal 2 - Salvia, don’t you dare tell me you dropped the Sextant…” He did. I cleared everyone off the bridge… The QM1 had his butt out there on that buoy with a grapnel all night. We never did find that sextant.

[OSCS Jimmy D. Belcher]

Pulling pranks on JOs was fun coming through the ranks. As a new QM3 my QMC had me pull one on a new OODs first watch. We took an old tape recorder and recorded a Mayday message about 5 minutes into the tape. Me and the QMC were standing on the bridgewing having a smoke when the tape recorder (planted behind the VHF radio started calling Mayday. This poor JO almost peed himself trying to locate the mic andf call back at the same tuime calling for me to contact the Captain ASAP. Could not assist at the time because we were doubled over laughing.

[YNC Josh Braarud]

As someone who has recently served on a cutter, let me say that I miss having the QMs around. The bridge just wasn't the same.

Not as squared away, and not the same wicked sense of humor. :(

[BMCS T. D. Ellis]

As a former QM (or rehabbed as some people say) I miss my rate but I really like the billets it opened up. The switch, as far as paperwork goes, has not been enjoyable. However, I have been blessed with my brother Chiefs, an understanding CO and a supportive SPO and learned the job.

I really enjoy the job but there are still days when I say to myself, "Self," because that's what I call myself, "why do you do this job?" Then when someone goes to "A" school or advances or quailfies at a challenging job, it's all worth it.

Thank-you my brothers for helping me. :)

[BMC John Phillips III]

there are still days when I say to myself, "Self," because that's what I call myself

That's awesome! :D You know I sometimes refer to myself as JP3, a few people here have given me crap about it, but JP3 says, they are just jealous ;) and of course the disclaimer, JP3 - not a former QM.

[CWO Dana Lewis (QMC) (Ret)]

Old Quartermaster from 1966 thru 1980 just checking in.

[BMC Gregory Papineau]

Another QM here. I am bitter about the merger as well. There are differences in the job and there are now less and less masters of each rate because of it. In 2005, I was ordered to STORIS as the deck BMC, but when the command learned I was a former QM, they switched me to the bridge. I didn't mind at all, but the division was a mess and normal QM itmes were not done for years from lack of knowledge of the rate.

I know that all legacy BM's are not bad, but there is a difference in between jobs. There are BM's and QM's doing a good job on each side, :) but the merger was not needed in my opinion.

Check out the following:
(To the tune of Col. Nathan Jessup in A Few Good Men)

"Son we live in a world that needs navigation, and that navigation needs to be conducted by QMs. Who’s going to do it, you Boatswain’s mate? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for DGPS and you curse the navigation standards. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That cross track error, while tragic, was probably the result of a steering casualty, and my existence, while grotesque to you, keeps us out of shoal water. You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at navigation briefs, you want me on that bridge, you need me on that bridge. We use words like deviation tables, magnetic compass adjustment and parallel motion protractors. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent supporting Operations, you use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor the inclination, to explain myself to a person who has swim calls and fish calls AND THEN QUESTIONS THE MANNER IN WHICH I PROVIDE THEM. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you take a fix. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

I have one from the BM to the QM as well.

[FSC Jayare Parker (Ret)]

Hey Greg,
Welcome to the site.
I LOVE that movie, that was pretty good. :D

Jayare

[MCPO Francis Jennings]

As QMC in DALLAS several years ago, I had the evening OOD watch underway. I had dinner with my partner in crime- the EWO. We both planned an after dinner cigar on watch; he in main control and I on the bridge, of course. Well, I proposed that he blow a bit of smoke in the voice tube to see if it would make it to the bridge; it seemed like the thing to do in the midst of a long patrol.

So, I get back up and relieve my watch. A few minutes later, smoke starts slowly eeking out of the voice tube. As I see it happening, the CO coincidentally shows up to the bridge for an evening visit and takes a seat in his chair. Now mind you, this is the carribean and there isn't a single knot of wind. Soon, the whole freakin' bridge is full of smoke. The CO gets a bit irritated and tells me to call down to the Engine Room and tell them to knock it off.

Well, I'm on the SPP and I'm politically telling the EWO that "there's apparently some sort of smoke coming through the voice tube and the Captain requests that he take some action to resolve the situation". So, the EWO says "smoke in the voice tube? I'll get right on that."

Well, engineers being who they are, he takes high pressure air and blows it through the tube. That probably hadn't been done in years because the effect on the bridge was loud and immeadiate. It was like a smoky ticker-tape parade as all that dust and years worth of the crap you helmsmen drop down the voice tube blew all over the place- and it was loud besides.

We laughed for days about that. Captain, if you're out there, I'm sorry. It was the snipe's idea!

Frank :cool: :cool:

[BMCM Bill James]

One of my fave QM-type stories comes from SWEETBRIER, 1987 or so...

I come to the Bridge to relieve for the 04-08s. My predecessor and fellow QM2 tells me he had trouble sending the Synpotic Weather voice message that was due on his watch. About this time, I notice a pissed-off ET1 hulking on the bridgewing, smoking furiously and grumbling. I was able to piece together the story: my QM2 buddy kept calling CommSta Kodiak who repeatedly replied what SWB was "weak and barely readable", while we had them loud & clear. Much fumbling of knobs and multiple tries on different freqs didn't improve things. Finally, the BMOW goes to wake up the grouchy ET1 (musta been tired from opening the ship's store for a whole 15 mins that day). The ET1 comes to the bridge and gradually brings up most of his test gear and tools over the next hour, still can't find the problem.

Finally, the ET1 tells my buddy to try it again: same deal, we're weak and barely readable and Kodiak is l&c....whereupon the ET1 takes the mic from the QM2's hand, TURNS IT AROUND and says "Try it now"!!

I swear, that QM2 was an absolute GENIUS in some things -- we were roommates ashore for awhile & his off-duty entertainment was to look for errors in the math formulae in Bowditch! He'd ask me to check his work (I couldn't), then he'd send it off to DMA as a correction, which, sure enough, would show up in the next NTM (p 226, line 17, replace "1" with "-1").

[BMCM Bill James]

Ok, here's another, from ACUSHNET, 1991 or so...

A dark midwatch steaming north off the coast of Oregon, killing time so we can be o/s first light for some FFV boardings. I'm watching a radar contact approx 20NM west, also northbound, just about our course and speed. After an hour or so, I check the contact and see it's relative vector as CBDR at a speed of 25+ knots! After checking that the QMOW or BMOW aren't playing a trick on me with the manually-input own ship course & speed, I start getting nervous. BMOW breaks out NVGs and identifies a blacked-out warship...after a few more mins, we're reading a hull number & agree it looks like a Spru-can. I call the CO (PCO was onboard too), and they BOTH come to the bridge just as CPA is 100 yds in 10 mins. My famous command is "Put the other two engines on the line" - great, now we can do FIFTEEN knots! We light up the Ensign, stripe & blue lights, continue calling on 13, 16 & 2182...nothing.

My newest QM3 and I are on the engaged bridgewing, him with the MPL flashing "AA" repeatedly. Finally, the intruder starts flashing "G", "G", "G", "M", "M", "M" from multiple SSLs...between the two of us, we're barely able to read the single letters. FINALLY at 1/2 mile or so, the DDG flips on nav lights and answers our "AA", whereupon we exchange call signs and it again goes dark and speeds off north...PHEW!

I see the CO next morning & he hand me a message from the DD, apologizing for interrupting our watch and explaining that he thought we were USS ANTIETAM (600-ft guided missle robo-cruiser) based on our location and having the same surface search radar. His signal lights were manned by midshipmen and simulated GUNS and MISSILES being fired at us!

The BMOW that was on watch with me (the guy who with Vietnam-era NVGs read the hull number at a couple of miles) posted pictures of us and ANTIETAM on the bulletin board with a caption like "One of these things is not like the other". HOLY COW I hope the real Navy does a better job at target ID before lighting them up!

[BMCM Bruce Bradley]

Damn Bill were you really that bored to be digging up a 3 year old thread?

[GMC Paul Coon]

Not a QuarterGasket, but I was once a Seaman and seeing how Sea Stories are being told I have one.:D

The BM1, yes I said it, a Boatswain Mate on a QM page, wanted to pull the "ghost bridge" on my fellow SN. So said SN had the first lookout watch and after his first report of his first scan via the voice tube, no one responded to his report. Well this went on for about 1 1/2 hrs, he was suppose to be relieved after the first hour, he pokes his head from the flying bridge down to the bridge the best he could and yells out there is "nothing out there" (hauge line patrol and of course I shortened what the correct report was). So the 2nd hour commences and again via the voice tube, he reports "nothing out there". The 3rd hour starts and he finally decides to come on down and when he enters the bridge he initially did not see anyone and commence to get on the growler to call the Old Man, but the QMOW stopped him just before he turned the dial.:eek:

The BM1 asked him why it took him so long to come down from the flying bridge and he said "it was so nice out (summer patrol), I figured everyone was hearing me anyways and I didn't mind being out in the fresh air" or something to that affect.;)

Paul